Some days I feel fantastic as if I can conquer the world. My emotional tank filled to the brim. Then, there are days when I feel blank, empty, feeling nothing at all. It’s during those empty days when I’m at my best. I accept humanity’s flaws and understand every day isn’t a party. Not everyone is charitable, accepting, good, or fair. Not everyone is a cheerleader of encouragement. I accept that I have a right to my emptiness that it’s perfectly human to not be that which others falsely expect – perfection.
During my empty days, I care even less about others’ expectations of me. I embrace my freedom to not care about that which does not bring me emotional freedom or personal joy. I embrace my moments of emptiness. When my empty days arrive, I curl up with a good book and immerse myself in the emotions of the characters. I appreciate my empty days and the emotional refueling process. It’s like driving a car filled with bad gasoline until it runs on empty, then refilling it with good fuel for another long-term, smooth ride.
As such days end, I’m refilled and soon, my days are lively and joyous once more. Emptying and refilling my emotional tank with fresh feelings is most important. It may take another few months, maybe a year, before I’m emotionally empty again. Nevertheless, with each experience, I become renewed, revitalized, and rejuvenated.
I absolutely love this. Your words spoke to me in a way I could undstand especially going through my cancer. Not every day is a good day and sometimes it’s hard to move on.
Sho, we’re blessed that those days are very few and far between. We are definitely conquerors. 🙂